Up in Phlames

The city that brought you The Time That Fans Threw Snowballs at Santa and The Time That Fans Applauded Michael Irvin Getting Taken Off the Field in an Ambulance brings you rioting, looting and chaos. You won’t believe the photos from last night in Philadelphia.

Beijing Watchlists Collegiate Golfer at Olympics Even Though Golf Isn’t an Olympic Sport

Somewhere in Tuscaloosa, Ala., a senior on the Alabama women’s golf team is waking up and finding out that the Chinese government had her on a watchlist for potential troublemakers during the Olympics, according to USA Today.

Which is especially confusing because golf isn’t an Olympic sport. And because Lexus Nexus and Internet searches turn up no evidence that she ever went to Beijing.

The athlete in question is Laura Goodwin — that’s her, at right — and she’s from Birmingham, Ala. Her official Alabama bio makes no mention of a trip to the Olympics. A search of Sports Reference’s Olympics page shows that no athletes with the last name Goodwin participated in the 2008 games, so she wasn’t there to support a family member (or at least one with the same last name). Unless she was supporting a Tide alumnus in Beijing, I’d guess that the Chinese government just made a clerical error when placing Goodwin’s name on their list. The fact that no one over there speaks English probably had something to do with it.

I’d also like to point out the closing line from the initial USA Today article: “Calls to the Chinese Embassy on Wednesday went unanswered.” I feel your pain.

Well, That’s a Mild Understatement

At left, there’s today’s Columbia Missourian with a late-entry for “obvious subhead of the year.”

In related news: yes, the town really is excited for the Senator’s visit. Well, except for a for a few guys at the local barber shop this afternoon.

“You think he’s really coming? What’s his name? Bo-ama?” one asked me, even as several copies of local papers confirming the visit littered the floor. I didn’t wonder aloud why he was unable to pronounce the Senator’s name, and instead asked the barber why he didn’t believe the news reports .

“Well, they said the same thing about McCain,” he said. “And he just got barbecue and left.”

I tried to assure them that, yes, Obama was really giving a speech in town, not just grabbing a pulled pork sandwich. “Should be a football sized crowd,” I said.

“I guess we’ll be getting the hell out of here, then,” one said.

Joe.

Watching that old Don Cheadle ad for the NFL playoffs, I was struck by something he said: “Joe’s not just a name. It’s an idea.”

Weird how true that sentiment is this year, no?

One of the Weirdest Front Pages In Mid-Missouri’s History

From today’s Columbia Tribune:
-Murderer sentenced to 50 years.
-Three arrested after gunfire.
-Skinheads arrested.
-Senator guilty.
-Man(zini) as Houdini.

Oh, and some guy named Barack is coming to town.

For a town where almost nothing of importance ever happens, it seems like everything of any importance always seems to happen on the same day.

Back to stories about sidewalks tomorrow, I suppose.

Reverse Telemarking

This New York Times profile of Joel Levinson — perennial viral video contest award-winner — features one astoundingly brilliant paragraph:

Mr. Levinson’s gregariousness is an asset in the user-generated content world, as many of these contests are determined by voting. Mr. Levinson has a Facebook group entitled “Yes, Joel, I’ll vote for your newest stupid contest” and he uses Twitter, blogs, e-mail and text messages, asking acquaintances to vote. He even calls 24-hour customer service lines at night, when he thinks the representatives are bored, and asks them to vote for him.

Telemarketing to those who make calls for a living? Genius.