Another Word About Failure.

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Three years ago, I wrote a thing about failure. Much to my surprise, it still holds up pretty well! I wrote:

There is a phrase I use a lot. I overuse it. A lot of my friends do, too.

The word is “fail.” ….

But sometimes, when we just wrap all that in into that one word — fail — we lose a sense of what we’re really trying to say. …

So if I’ve told you, “It’s okay to fail” or “Go fail fast,” I’m sorry. I can say it better.

This year, be willing to do difficult things. Be willing to go on adventures where you don’t know the outcome. Be willing to persevere.

Most of all: Be willing to do great work.

The idea of “failing fast and failing often” has spread even further since I wrote about it back in 2012. And looking back on that first post, I realized: I never got around to defining what failure is!

Here’s the thing: Anyone who tells you they like to “fail fast and fail often” has probably not truly failed in their life. Maybe they’ve goofed up on a project. Maybe they fucked up an assignment.

That isn’t failure.

When you take on work that really matters to you, and you truly fail, you feel like absolute shit. Failure gnaws at you. It keeps you up at night. It makes you question every decision you’ve made along the way.

When you fail while doing something meaningful, it sucks the life out of you. And that kind of failure takes weeks or months — or even years! — out of you.

The people who advocate “failing fast and failing often” are people who really mean to say: It’s OK to screw up! It’s OK to suck at your work! And they’re not wrong — it is OK to make little mistakes along the way.

But that’s not failure. Failure is the roadblock that keeps you from going one step further with your work. Failure sends you onto a detour from which you don’t completely return. And in the long run, that’s also OK — failure is something that can shift you onto a completely different track, and maybe that’s a path where you can do great work and succeed.

Anyone can screw up. But to fail, deal with that failure, and somehow pick yourself back up and start again? That’s a different thing altogether.

———

That photo at top comes via Flickr user Sister72.

I Am 28 Years Old. This Is What I Believe.

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I am 28 years old, and everything is about to change — again. That’s what happens when things start to seem settled in your life. You meet a girl, and she’s amazing. You move in together. You’re in a job you like, and you’ve been doing it well for a long time. (Well, “long” as far as internet standards go.) Things are good!

And then you look at the calendar year ahead and realize: You have 11 weddings to go to next year. Eleven! And one of them is yours! Your friends are having kids and buying homes. You drive through the suburbs and think, Having more space might not be so bad!

It hasn’t all happened yet. But it’s happening. By the time I write the 2016 version of this post, things could be very, very different.

For now, though, there’s 28, and it’s been an incredible year. Over the past year, there are certain things I’ve come to believe hold true. I know that my beliefs will continue to change. I know that I will change.

But here, at 28, is what I believe:

The hardest part of the work isn’t getting it going — it’s keeping it going, week after week, year after year.

End results matter, but the routines and processes you use to get there are so much more important. Master those, and the results you want will come more often than not.

When you stop feeling like a little like an impostor at work, that means it’s probably time to take on a brand new challenge. You should always have something to prove.

There are so many big, weird ideas I want to try. I’m just waiting for the right teams and the right time to try them with.

Inbox Zero is too hard. Shoot for, like, Inbox Twelve. It’s more do-able.

The no. 1 secret to wedding-related sanity: Stay the hell off Pinterest.

Travel reveals who you really are when things get stressful. So if you’re dating someone, and you’re thinking about popping the question, and you haven’t taken a big trip, well: Maybe it’s time to see how much a round trip for two to Thailand costs.

I don’t know what happens at my alma mater next, but I do know this: We stood up for Michael Sam. We stood up for Jonathan Butler. We can stand up for a whole lot more, Mizzou.

Once a week, reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Write an email. Send a text. Or (and this sounds crazy): Make an actual phone call! The 15 minutes you spend laughing and catching up might be the best 15 minutes of your week.

I still think this is the year my Washington Capitals are going to win it all.

Screw “Fake it ‘till you make it.” Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t. Recognize your weaknesses. Be willing to say: “I don’t know — but I can find out.” There’s power in that.

I used to say, “Define your greatness, and go out and do it.” Now I see it a little differently. First, you’ve got to define what success means. Because if you don’t know how to define it, how will you know when you’ve achieved it?

Friday is my 10-year high school reunion. On the day I graduated, I had never held a smartphone before. Never even owned an iPod. Never blogged. Never tweeted. Never posted a photo or a video online. Never downloaded an app. Never started a video chat. I don’t know what the next 10 years will bring, but I know it’s going to be amazing.

And most of all: I know change is scary for some. But when I think about Sally and the things we want to do together, I’m not scared at all. I’m excited.

Bring it on.

———

In that photo at top, from left to right: Sam, Mom, Dad, Sally, and El. Love you, guys.

Why Didn’t Anyone Show Up To My Presentation?

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Here’s something that happens at every office: You work hard on a big presentation. It’s got everything a great presentation needs: Actionable advice, clear takeaways, and data to back up your big points. You send out the calendar invite to a large group of co-workers — maybe an office listserv full of people who could use your advice.

Then when presentation time comes, only a fraction of the invited employees show up.

Why? What went wrong?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this problem lately. It’s something we struggle with at BuzzFeed, and something I hear echoed in conversations with friends who work in fields from media to medicine. Why aren’t people showing up for valuable presentations?

Three things are usually at play:

1) No one is holding them accountable — This is the big one. If you’re inviting people on a more personal basis — emailing 2-3 people at a time, or reaching out to folks on a 1-to-1 basis — they know that you personally want them there, and that you expect them to be there. When you reach out to a big team/group/listserv, it’s more impersonal, and people often feel like their attendance isn’t necessary. They also know that if they don’t show up, there won’t be any pushback — you won’t follow up to ask why they didn’t make time for your presentation.

2) They don’t know what’s in it for them — WIIFM isn’t just a silly acronym — it’s also an important part of any good presentation! Every time someone gets an invite to a presentation or a training, they should have an expectation for what they’ll be getting out it. If there’s nothing in it for them, why would they show up in the first place?

3) They don’t believe presentations are valuable — If you’ve been to a handful of sub-par presentations at your office, you’re less likely to think of them as valuable — and much more likely to think of them as a waste of time. And that’s a shame! A great presentation can change the way you work and give you the skills to produce amazing things. In a perfect world, people would LOVE going to presentations — they’re opportunities to make you better at the things you do every day!

So what can you do to improve your presentations? I’d start here: When you send out the calendar invite, let everyone know what they’re going to get out of your talk and why it’s so important. Follow up with people in person to make sure they understand why they should come — and create the expectation that their attendance is important. And lastly: Knock your presentation out of the park, and give them great advice that they can use!

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That photo of a presentation comes via the University of the Fraser Valley’s Flickr.

One Thing You Should Know Before You Send In Your Résumé.

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Over the past three years, I’ve been lucky enough to hire a handful of really talented candidates to join my teams, first at Stry.us, and now at BuzzFeed. In the process, I’ve looked at a lot of résumés.

And here’s what I can tell you: Everyone — and I mean, EVERYONE, from entry-level candidates to experienced hires — struggles to write a good résumé. It’s understandable! This is something they don’t teach you in school. It’s tough to figure out what you should be doing with your résumé.

So here’s a way to think about it:

A résumé isn’t a listing of everything you’ve ever done. It’s not a complete catalog of all your work.

A great résumé is more like the book on your career — and as the hiring manager, I’ve picked up the story on page 60, and I’m quickly glancing through the previous pages to find out if I should keep reading or not. A great résumé shows me your career path, and makes it clear to me why the job you’re applying for is the next step along that path. Every job listing, college degree, side project, and skill listed should serve as a milestone along that path.

If I was a hiring manager at a law firm, and I was hiring a new lawyer for my team, I’d expect to see certain milestones on your résumé: A law degree, internships or jobs in the field, and maybe even a side project or a background in relevant clubs at your school (the debate club, Model UN, etc).

You don’t need a background that’s quite as specific to work at BuzzFeed, but there are milestones that should stand out. I’m looking for a relevant degree (creative writing, journalism, communications, and English lit are popular ones), and job experience that involves a combination of writing and content production. And I want to know that you’ve worked on long-term projects that require collaboration and organization. (If you’ve been a part of launching a big project, that’s a huge bonus!)

Let me put it another way: Within 60 seconds of reading your résumé, it should be glaringly, ridiculously obvious that this is the job you’ve been working towards all along.

Before you write a résumé, ask yourself this: What do you envision yourself doing in the next decade? What do you want to accomplish in that time period? And how does this next job keep on you the path towards completing all of those goals?

With those answers in mind, you can tailor your résumé around your intended path.

If you’re applying slightly different types of jobs — maybe you’re applying to work on my email team at BuzzFeed, but also applying for a writing job over at Refinery 29 — that’s OK! But your résumé shouldn’t be one-size-fits-all. Your résumé should be tailored to each specific job. It should be clear why your skill set has brought you to my door.

Because if you don’t, you may be out of luck — there’s a good chance I’ll be onto the next candidate after only 60 seconds.

———

That photo of a desk comes via Unsplash and photographer Dustin Lee.

It’s OK To Break Your Routine.

A photo posted by Dan Oshinsky (@danoshinsky) on

I’ve written lovingly about routines before, and how building good habits can help you do amazing things. A good routine can keep you focused and productive. But I’ve also learned that sometimes, routines can make work feel monotonous.

So what can you do? Here’s an idea: Break your routine just a little bit.

It can be a small thing. Like last night: The work’s been good for a few straight weeks, but I was still feeling a little bit sluggish at the end of the day. Maybe it’s the changeover from daylight savings times, or may it’s just the weather. Whatever it was, I had a good day at work, but I needed a little pick-me-up.

My change? It was as simple as taking a different way home. I got off at a different subway stop, and walked past Radio City and 30 Rock. And just that little act — just a slightly different route home — was enough to throw a jolt into my day. I started thinking about how I’m coming up on three years in New York City. In fact, it was three years ago to the week that I interviewed with BuzzFeed. I remember sitting around waiting for a job offer I wasn’t even sure would come. And walking through Midtown, I had to remind myself: I made it here! I’ve built out a pretty awesome team, and some amazing products, too. I’ve been a part of building a remarkable media organization.

Just a small tweak was enough to help me snap out of it. But your little tweak could be easy, too: Grabbing coffee at a different time during the day to break your routine; grabbing a new co-worker every day for a quick walk around the block; eating lunch with different people at your office. Sometimes, even a small change is enough.