Missouri High Schools Continue to Display Their Unique Brand of Crazy

It’s not often that Missouri high schools make their way into the news. But this week, we’ve already had two remarkable incidents: a massive brawl at Hickman High in Columbia and an AIDS pandemic at Normandy High near St. Louis.

And then here comes the craziest one yet:

ST. LOUIS (AP) – At least four students from a suburban St. Louis middle school face punishment for allegedly hitting Jewish classmates during what they called “Hit a Jew Day.”

The incident happened last week at Parkway West Middle School in Chesterfield.

District officials said Thursday they believe that fewer than 10 children of the district’s 35 Jewish students were struck.

To be fair, a 28.5 percent success rate at your local carnival’s Whack a Mole game probably still wins you an oversized stuffed gorilla.

The Fridge Prefers the Cupcakes

As a longtime Maryland football fan — going back to the glory days when the team’s punter was considered one of the team’s “most potent defensive weapons” — I can tell you that Terps fans have long hated the team’s weak scheduling. In the last two years, when the Terps added Rutgers and Cal to the schedule, it seemed like a rare breath of legitimacy for the team.

And then head coach Ralph Friedgen has to go and say something like this:

Terps coach Ralph Friedgen said today that ACC coaches had discussed the possibility during spring meetings of adding a ninth conference game to the schedule and dropping one of the four non-conference games.

But the coach said the proposal was unpopular. ACC coaches like the flexibility of scheduling winnable non-conference opponents so they get enough wins to be bowl-eligible.

“Coaches were not for that because it would knock a lot of us out of bowl games,” Friedgen said.

Among recent Maryland cupcakes on the schedule: Delaware, William & Mary and Middle Tennessee State, who the Terps actually lost to this year. And around the ACC in 2008: Jacksonville State, Charleston Southern, James Madison, the Citadel, Rhode Island and Duke.

Tough to get any national respect with opponents like that. But when the goal is the blue turf of Boise’s Humanitarian Bowl1., all that matters is the W and not the score or opponent (say, Georgia Tech over Gardner Webb, 10-7).

1. Post-season footnote: Funny how it ended up playing out exactly like that.

On the Bus

To experience life on the campaign trail, it doesn’t get much better than this David Foster Wallace piece about the 2000 campaign. (This, however, is on my to-read list for holidays.)

But for a good look on the unending campaign — plus insights into how the Clinton campaign turned urinals into a press work room, the analogous nature of porn and presidential nominees and how Chuck Norris fit into the ’08 election — this mini-memoir from Newsweek‘s Michael Hastings is a pretty impressive read.

Are Newspapers Thinking Outside the Margins?

This quote isn’t from a journalist or about newspapers. But it might as well be:

“You cannot afford to say, ‘I don’t have the time to get out of my little circle here to understand what’s going on,’ ” Mr. Kimel said. “You can’t make the mistake of thinking the only place you’ll learn is from colleagues who are doing exactly what you’re doing.”

Will newspapers come around and figure this out before it’s too late?

New Rule #106: Length of the National Anthem

A thought, watching the Backstreet Boys sing tonight’s national anthem before Game 1 of the World Series:

The national anthem should take no longer than 90 seconds, unless your name is Marvin Gaye or Bleeding Gums Murphy. Tonight’s anthem clocked in at 1 minute and 58 seconds. Future anthem singers: take note, please.

That being said, I’m not sure how to proceed with the acapella version that was presented to America tonight. I guess I really should leave the obvious Backstreet Boys puns to the experts.

Post America = The End of America, Apparently

A remarkable passage from Maureen Dowd’s column today about Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama:

He [Powell] got a mass e-mail from a man wanting to spread the word that Obama was reading a book about the end of America written by a fellow Muslim.

“Holy cow!” Powell thought. Upon checking Amazon.com, he saw that it was a reference to Fareed Zakaria, a Muslim who writes a Newsweek column and hosts a CNN foreign affairs show. His latest book is “The Post-American World.”

And you wonder why the truth seems to be such an elusive element in today’s society. How long before we start including lessons on “how to Google” for kids in grades K to 5?

New Rule #105: Dropped Call Phone Tag

I do not know how much change one man — or blogger — can bring to this world. But I do know that when there is wrong in the world, the least I can do is to try to fix it. Here’s my mitzvah of the day:

The Situation: Tonight, at approximately 10:30 p.m., I’m driving home while talking on the phone. My cell loses reception. The call ends mid-sentence. So I call my friend back. He calls me. Simultaneously. We both get each other’s voicemail. It takes five minutes of dialing to get him back on the line.

The Dilemma: Who makes the initial callback after a dropped call?

The solution: He who dialed first must re-dial.

Stick to this simple rule, people, and we can avoid the dreaded post-dropped call phone tag.

One small step for cell phone users at a time, I suppose.