How Do You Have The Awkward Conversation About Your Job Search?

A friend of mine is searching for a new job. She has a job right now, but she’s ready for something new. She’s doing the right things: She’s gotten her resume in order, and she’s reaching out to colleagues and contacts to start talking about opportunities elsewhere.

But she’s still a little nervous about one thing: Won’t it seem desperate or too aggressive if she comes out and asks for help in her job search?

Here’s what I told her: I remember when I graduated from Mizzou, in May 2009, with the country in a recession, and major newspapers closing and cutting staff nearly every week. It was a lousy time to be a journalism graduate. I needed a job, and no one was hiring. If there was ever a time to feel desperate, it was then.

But amazingly, I got a job. The reason? Several Mizzou grads were remarkably kind to me and helped me land the interview that led to a full-time job. They told me: When we were first searching for jobs, Mizzou grads helped us get in the door. Now we’re trying to pay it forward.

Everyone in this industry has been in their shoes. If you haven’t been laid off, you know someone who has. You know the feeling of needing some help — an introduction, a lucky connection, a bit of good advice — to get the next job.

And all of us who’ve been there recognize that feeling, and remember how grateful we were when help came. That’s why so many people are willing to be unusually kind when it comes to talking about your career. They remember the people who helped them, and they’re often excited to pass that support along to the next person.

There’s no need to be worried about the awkwardness of the conversation. Just be up front. Make sure the people you’re connecting with know that you’re searching for a new role. Make sure you explain why you’re reaching out to them, and why you think they can help (a little bit of flattery never hurts!). Make sure you don’t waste their time by bringing good questions to the table. Make sure you say thank you. (Send a thank you note, too!)

The old adage is true: The worst thing someone can do when you ask for help is to say “no.” Don’t get discouraged. Keep asking good questions and making connections — that’s how you’re going to get the introduction you need to get to that next job.

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That stock footage comes via rawpixel and Unsplash.