Posts

Posted on

The Bird Who Sticks His Head Out.

My parents weren’t big on idioms when I was a kid, and I’m probably happier off as a result. Idioms have a way of summing things up a bit too perfectly, of providing a universal answer to a singular context. Not ever wound demands a band-aid, I guess is what I’m saying.

The other thing is, only some idioms actually make sense. Most don’t seem to make any.

Take this old expression: “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” I’d always thought that it was an odd way of saying, “Go out and take a risk.” But as of 2009, this Urban Dictionary definition seems more appropriate.

Yesterday, I just finished reading Jennifer 8. Lee’s excellent “The Fortune Cookie Chronicles,” and it’s there that I discovered the Chinese equivalent of this semi-sensical English expression.

In Chinese, they say, “Qiang da chutou niao.” But in English, it means, “The bird who sticks his head out gets shot.”

See, now that I get.

Posted on

Three Cool Thoughts.

What could be the first of a regular segment on danoshinsky.com: three thoughts I heard this week that made me stop and think:

1. Make small stuff do big things. (via Professor Wade Adams, Director of the Richard E. Smalley Institute for Nanoscale Science & Technology at Rice University)

2. Some things aren’t rocket science; they’re much more complicated. (via “Traffic” by Tom Vanderbilt)

And the I-sleep-fine-thank-you-but-still-this-is-pretty-awesomely-worded thought:

3. If life is really as short as they say, why is the night so long? (via M. Ward’s “Chinese Translation“)

Posted on

Stupid Human Things That Happen on Thanksgiving.

Three Thanksgiving things that I’m submitting immediately to the “Stuff White People Like” database:

1. Thanksgiving Day runs: Like many semi-lazy humans, I participated in an extended, organized run yesterday. It’s common knowledge that such Thanksgiving Day runs are notorious for presenting the most variable weather conditions existing outside of Death Valley. I have now completed Thanksgiving runs in Washington, D.C., and San Antonio, Texas. In each run, the weather was sub-arctic at the starting gun. By the third mile, the weather had heated up to the point where anyone wearing sleeves looked as out of place as the polar bear in ‘Lost.’ I am told that all Thanksgiving runs — including those in Miami, Topeka and Duluth — feature such wild, inappropriate temperature swings. As usual, awards were presented to the fastest runners, which I found strange, because anyone who was able to even loosen up at 7 a.m. in below-freezing temperatures should be taken immediately to the nearest institute of kinesiology for testing.

The previous two years, I ran a 10K. This year, I ran a 5K. As always, by the end of the run, I looked like I wanted the state of Texas to award me the death penalty.

2. Watching the Rockettes: If you’re like my family, then you completely lost it when you saw Matt Lauer introduce the Rockettes yesterday. The Rockettes are one of those organizations that, I’m quite convinced, only exist because people are inherently stupid. The Rockettes exist almost entirely out of nature, a homogeneous group that wears the same outfits and does the same routine every year. And every year, Americans completely lose it at the sight of these women. Most things obey the law that Einstein once wrote of: insanity is doing the same thing year after year and expecting different results every time. But the weird thing is, watching the Rockettes and NOT expecting people to go nuts would be considered insane.

3. Low-quality sporting events: We are at the point in society where we, as Americans, should no longer allow the Detroit Lions or the Dallas Cowboys to play football on Thanksgiving. We should absolutely demand that the NFL, on the one day when no less than 93 percent of the population is watching football, actually present us with viewing options. And it is unconscionable that other networks have not stepped up their TV watching options. I’m on my ass. I’ve just eaten what amounts to the gross domestic product of Guatemala. I’ve poured enough alcohol into my system to lose the ability to operate machinery as complicated as a remote control. That there are not better channel choices — which is to say, more violent events featuring humans colliding at high speeds — is shameful. We deserve the lowest in high definition gladiatorial competitions, and the Detroit Lions do not come close to fulfilling our needs.

Posted on

More Proof That I Am, in Fact, an Idiot.

I am an idiot.

I’m 22 years old and blissfully unaware of the world around me. Blissfully unaware, I’d venture, is one step closer to bliss than most people ever get.

But it’s that bliss that, today, reminded me of how big an idiot I really am.

I had to go to Target this afternoon because there was a hot yoga class in town that I wanted to try, and to take the class, I needed to first purchase an official yoga mat. Such a mat is the consistency of an oversized Shamwow, except that it costs $20 and does nothing that a $3 towel wouldn’t do when it’s 95 degrees inside a yoga studio and your palms are too sweaty to grip much of anything. [1. I also must report that my yoga class consisted of what I must assume were the five most flexible people in all of South Texas. The yoga teacher herself may have been born without joints, bones or the ability to sense the unstoppable pain in my lower back. I don’t think she was a contortionist; I think she was a human balloon animal.]

There was traffic on the way to Target, so I called a friend while I waited in traffic. I kept talking as I got to the store, parked the car, grabbed a hand cart and found the oversized Shamwow that would be my platform for future yoga futility. I started walking back toward the checkout line.

Somewhere during the walk, the idiot in me took over.

For the most part, I try not to be an asshole in public, and generally, I look upon other assholes with scorn. At the top of the list of assholes in public are People Who Talk On Their Cell Phones While Urinating. Just below that, on the list of assholes worthy of title case, are People Who Talk on Their Cell Phones in the Checkout Aisle.

I decided, mid-walk, that I did not want to enter that second category.

But instead of doing the rational thing — explaining the situation to my friend, hanging up and calling back a few minutes later — I just kept walking and talking.

I walked and talked over to the toiletries aisle and picked up some paper towels. I found the grocery aisle and eyed a pint of ice cream, though I eventually passed on any. I looped through to home furnishings and grabbed two scented candles, then back to sporting goods, and over to menswear. At some point, I found myself back in the grocery aisle and decided upon a single can of minestrone soup. My handcart was getting progressively heavier. My left arm was starting to sag. I kept talking.

During my fifth or sixth loop of menswear, I looked down the aisle toward the store’s entrance and noticed that it was getting dark. I told my friend that I had to go and hung up. I saw the counter flashing on my phone. I’d been walking and talking for nearly 40 minutes, it said.

I walked over to the checkout aisles and found an empty lane. I put my things on the belt, and in a conscientious effort not to be one of those aforementioned assholes, I smiled at the cashier and said hello. She said nothing. She put my items in a bag and told me the price of my goods. A trip for a cheap yoga mat had turned into a full-on shopping spree, all in an effort to be polite to this cashier. I thanked her and wished her a nice day, and I actually kind of meant it. She didn’t respond.

I grabbed my bags, and my left arm sagged again. I didn’t feel like an asshole, which was a thought with about as much comfort as my $20 yoga mat. I only felt like an idiot.

Which is, to say, I only felt like myself.

Posted on

Read This, and Every Time You See the Word “DVR,” Insert “The Internet” Instead.

The New York Times has an interesting article today about the DVR and its impact on TV viewing. The article notes that TV execs once feared the DVR. Now, they love it.

What happened? It’s a cycle that happens with any revolutionary technology:

1. The technology is created and released to the public.

2. The technology gains widespread adoption.

3. Everything else works to catch up to the technology.

We created cars, and paved roads came later. We created sliced bread, and toasters came later. We created the slap shot, and — 50 years ago today — goalies started wearing masks. Ever heard the phrase “safety first”? In hockey, quite literally, safety came second.

But TV is just starting to adapt to the DVR, even though the TiVo was introduced more than a decade ago.

The original problem with the DVR was pretty simple: TV stations need money. They sell advertising to make money. But the DVR gave the consumers the power to skip past those ads.

The secondary problem was with TVs complicated ratings system. The ratings are measured in — and I’ll put this politely — an esoteric way. TV people don’t like the Nielsen ratings system. But it’s the only measure that counts when it comes to deciding whether or not a television program is successful.

When the DVR was introduced, it allowed viewers to record a show and watch it later. But Nielsen didn’t account for these viewers. If you weren’t watching the show live, it didn’t count in the ratings.

So it took a few years for the ratings system to catch up. Explains The Times:

Two years ago, in a seismic change from past practice, Nielsen started measuring television consumption by the so-called commercial-plus-three ratings, which measure viewing for the commercials in shows that are watched either live or played back on digital video recorders within three days. This replaced the use of program ratings.

With the new system, ratings are up — way up. Thanks to the plus-three system, Fox has added about 600,00 viewers per show. Even NBC, which has seen the smallest gains with plus-three, has added an average of 140,00 viewers per show.

Here’s the crucial thought: for eight years of the DVR’s existence, television stations were improperly valuing their own assets. Thousands of people were watching TV shows, but those viewers weren’t being counted.

The same is happening with internet advertising. Ads are sold using a CPM valuation that doesn’t work. Today, the clickthrough is the key to increasing your CPM and raising your advertising rates. But it’s not particularly effective.

Why? For one, humans aren’t nearly as impulsive on the Internet as you’d expect. The clickthrough method works well for products that can be delivered on demand, which is why iTunes’ store is so effective, why porn sells on the web and why watching movies with the touch of a mouse is the next big thing. But say you see an ad on Yahoo!’s homepage for Chick-Fil-A. Even if you click through to the company’s website to read or see more, is that really any indicator that you’re heading out for a chicken sandwich at lunch?

The real money will be made when internet advertising measures — much like the Nielsen plus-three method — user engagement. DVR viewers are actively choosing to record and watch their favorite shows. For internet ads to be successful, those ads will have to demand a similar level of interaction with users.

Whatever the new version of CPM is, it has to measure that consumer’s desire for a particular product. A clickthrough simply doesn’t measure up.

Posted on

What I’ve Been Up To Lately.

It’s been a busy week at the office, which means it’s been a slow week here on the site. So I wanted to pass along links to a few things I’ve been doing lately.

This week, we launched a weekly NBA column. This was the first edition.

Also this week: my ‘Top 10 Costumes We Do NOT Want to See on Halloween.”

I’ve been working on a first for KENS 5: a comprehensive guide to the upcoming election.

And two original slideshows. One was my backstage tour of a local haunted house. The other, a companion piece to a story about a woman trapped on the ‘Mexican side’ of the border fence.

Posted on

How Gnarls Barkley Predicted Today’s Journalism Crisis.

Back in 2006, two guys with fake names took over pop radio. One was named Cee-Lo Green; the other was named Danger Mouse. They toured in a band whose name combined California skater slang with a Hall of Fame NBA power forward. They went on stage wearing costumes from hit 80s movies. They were, somewhat strangely, a really big deal.

Now, this blog doesn’t usually stray to such subjects as the band Gnarls Barkley, but today, I’ll have to make an exception. I am writing this now because I believe I am on the cusp a profound discovery:

I believe Gnarls Barkley’s second album, “The Odd Couple,” is actually a concept album that explains the crisis facing journalism today. [1. I am kidding, obviously. This album could also be misapplied and used to explain the 2009 St. Louis Rams football season or the Presidency of Ulysses S. Grant. But historically speaking, my blog’s audience hasn’t been especially receptive to either of those subjects.]

Does that make me crazy?

Specifically, I think the first four songs on “The Odd Couple” are worth analyzing. The first explains today’s media crisis. The second details the emotions of a reporter who’s facing the crisis and sees only layoffs. The third is the story of a brash young reporter who’s accepting the challenges of this brave new journalistic world. [2. Here’s to hoping those words do not appear on my autobiography’s jacket cover. This assumes, of course, that books — and book jackets — will actually be printed in the future.] The fourth offers a curt reminder to all journalists and consumers of news: the end of the printed age is near.

I’ll go through it song by song.

Track 1: ‘Charity Case’

This song opens “The Odd Couple,” and it does so with these ominous words repeated in hushed tones: “Give it away now. Give it away now” It’s essentially the media’s web strategy in lyric form.

The song keeps going in that vein. “I’m not doin’ so good,” Cee-Loo sings, as backup singers add, “I’m not yet with it/I’m still not well.” The New York Times’ Bill Keller echoed those remarks when announcing budget cuts at the paper on Monday.

The whole thing reads like a letter from a newspaper to its clients. “I’m bleeding, too/Are you needing me like I’m needing you,” Cee-Loo croons. And with ad sales and revenues dipping, it’s tough to disagree with the song’s assessment. Could we interest you in some micropayments?

Track 2: Who’s Gonna Save My Soul

This song echoes the sentiments of every reporter who’s been laid off or fears layoffs. Here’s the opening verse:

Oh, how could this be?
All this time, I’ve lived vicariously
Who’s gonna save my soul now?
Who’s gonna save my soul now?
How will my story ever be told now?
How will my story be told now?

How will it be told? Is anybody going to pay me to do this anymore? Those are the questions all of us are asking now that media outlets are laying off reporters and devoting fewer and fewer resources to news gathering. Preach it, Cee-Lo.

Track 3: Going On

This is the song that cued me into the hidden concept album behind “The Odd Couple.” [3. Also worth noting: I thought up this ‘concept album’ idea while running at the gym. The previous idea I had at the gym involved Gallagher, Lou Dobbs and Twitter. I do not know why my thoughts at the gym have become so quasi-delusional.] See, I’m trying to use these new mediums to tell better stories, even as the industry reacts at a glacial pace. But then Cee-Lo goes and sings something like:

The touch and feeling of free
Is untangible technically
Something you’ve got to believe in.

And there it is. Free isn’t a business model. This old model of journalism has been made irrelevant by today’s technology. And if you’re going to try it, you’ve got to believe in these new models.

Somehow, Cee-Lo just summed up journalism in 2009, all while wearing playing tambourine.

But it gets better:

Connect the cause and effect
One foot in front of the next
This is the start of a journey.
And my mind is already gone
And though there are other unknowns
Somehow, this doesn’t concern me.

Okay, so it might be too long to fit on an inspirational poster, but any journalist who’s out there trying to tell stories — even with little idea of where funding is going to come from — knows what Cee-Lo is talking about. “Going On” has one other thing spot on: this isn’t the end of journalism. It’s just the start of a new era in storytelling.

Then comes the kicker:

And you can stand right there if you want
But I’m going on.
And I’m prepared to go it alone.

Sounds about right for the multi-platform evangelists out there. And Cee-Lo even throws in a sarcastic line for those who cling to the old models of journalism: “I’m sure they’ll have a place for you, too.”

Track 4: Run (I’m a Natural Disaster)

Consider this word of warning to those who don’t believe the old ways of journalism are dying:

Yeah, I’m on the run
See where I’m coming from
When you see me coming, run
Before you see what I’m running from.
No time for question asking
Time is passing by.

Certainly, we’ve got no time to stop the presses. Report the news, then break the news: that’s our new distribution model. Plus, I like anyone who’ll be refreshing his/her web browser and TweetDeck in the morning instead of waiting for the paper to show up on the front step.

And just in case you didn’t get the message the first time:

Either you run right now
Or you best get ready to die

The Internet is here. Your revenues are drying up. Get on, or get out.

Next week on danoshinsky.com: what CBS News’ Andy Rooney and Ben Harper’s new backing band, Relentless7, can teach us about the process of editorial commentary.

Posted on

A Brief Word of Advice For Those About to Start Their First Job.

I’ve been gainfully employed for nearly four months, and I’m finally starting to understand a few truths about life inside a conglomerate. When you’re the new guy at a big company, the flowchart of power feels a little like one of those multi-piece Russian matryoshka dolls: you’d like to think you’re important, but if you were to peel away the layers, you’d find that you’re actually one of the tiny dolls hidden deep inside.

In my time at the office, I’ve learned a few things about the corporate life that seem pretty universal. So here are three pieces of advice for anyone about to start their first job in a new town:

1. Ask for a comfortable chair: Sure, it seems like an odd thing to do. And yes, it’s also a line out of “Jerry Maguire.” But if you’re starting life as a cubicle jockey, chances are you’ll be sitting more than you ever have in your life. Your chair might be the most important piece of furniture in your life.

2. Find a good mechanic: At some point, your car is going to break down. For me, the headlights on my car just stopped working a few weeks ago. And you do not want to go to a dealer to get the problem fixed. So if you’re moving to a new town, take a few minutes and find someone who won’t rip you off when your car breaks down. I’d recommend using the ‘Mechanic Files’ over at NPR’s “Car Talk” page. As an added benefit, this might just keep you sane when things go completely wrong.

3. When in doubt, ask: I’d worked at big companies before, but I’d never actually had to navigate a massive corporate bureaucracy before this job. So I’m learning that such places aren’t very good at keeping track of personnel. There’s a sign above the copier at work that speaks to this. “You may be essential,” it reads, “but that doesn’t mean you’re important.” It’s up to you to ask and to make sure that you don’t get lost in the bureaucracy.

Posted on

A Thought About Lifestreaming

The chart above is from Steve Rubel’s blog, and I think it’s a monumentally important step in terms of defining the scope of all this new media. [1. Which would include technology like: Tweeting, Facebooking, Flickring, texting, livestreaming, liveblogging, livechatting or any other verb that didn’t exist at the start of this millenium.]

I’ll let Mr. Rubel explain what the chart means in terms of his blog:

How would you feel about a structure like this where I theme the content based on the day of the week? Monday we tackle models and/or mindmaps, Tuesday we talk trends, etc. I want to post more often and more creatively than just writing.

This gets to a thought that I’ve been working through for some months now. My blog has become much more targeted: I write about journalism, with a few anecdotes from my life thrown in. But my Twitter feed is all over the place. It’s essentially a link dump; I see an interesting article, and I post it to Twitter. The thing is, the links have no common theme, except for the fact that I find them interesting. So basically, I’ve got a Del.icio.us page that’s targeted to friends.

I know I’m not the only one with such a problem. Take the Twitter feed for the San Antonio daily newspaper, The Express-News. Follow @mysa on a day-to-day basis, and you’ll find that their tweets are very strange. One minute, they’re tweeting the daily pollen count. The next, they’ve got photos from a crime scene. And minutes later, they’ll have the lotto numbers, or the score of a high school football game, or maybe a column about tacos. Point is: I’ve followed them for months, and I have no idea why they tweet the way they do.

That’s a problem. If I follow you on Twitter or subscribe to an RSS feed of your blog, or even if I read/watch/listen to your media outlet’s news on a regular basis, I want to know the answer to two questions:

  1. What do you write/talk about?
  2. Why do you write/talk about it?

I like Rubel’s idea of defining days of the week, especially for new media that tends to span a variety of topics. It could be an interesting way to keep readers engaged.

As for my Twitter feed, I’d like it to be a bit more focused. The only question is: when I see a link or a topic that’s outside my scope, what should I do with it then?

Proudly powered by WordPress