danoshinsky.com

A quasi-serious MTV reality show idea:

Girlfriend dumps boyfriend, saying he’s immature, irresponsible, etc. Boyfriend is given one month with coaching staff to change his ways and become a more rounded person. Boyfriend learns to cook, clean, be polite, maybe even enrolls in pilates classes. After one month, boyfriend gets the chance to take the ex out on a date, prove that he’s a new/improved man and win her back.

We’ll call it “Second Chance” — or maybe, “I Probably Don’t Deserve You” — and, if the guy is successful, we give the couple a free trip to Vegas to celebrate. (The trip is, of course, videotaped for an MTV webisode.)

Execs at MTV: I’ll be awaiting your call. I want my creator’s credit.

I have a very large extended family. They’re goofy and loud and, above all, prone to asking the same questions repeatedly. If there’s one thing I hate about seeing my family, it’s having to answer the same question a dozen times during dinner. And since I’m a very tall college senior who’s just returned from China, their questions tend to be incredibly predictable.

So I came up with a new strategy tonight. Before leaving for dinner, I wrote down the following words on a piece of paper:

1. School is good.
2. No, I don’t have a job yet.
3. China was fun.
4. Yes, I grew again.

Then I copied those questions answers onto a dozen pieces of paper and handed them out to all of my uncles and aunts upon arrival. And wouldn’t you know it: I didn’t have to deal with any repetitive small talk tonight, leaving me free to watch the game instead.

Sometimes, it seems like my life best resembles that of Jon Arbuckle. Sometimes, as a college senior taking only three days a week of class, life takes on a more tabby persuasion.

And for some reason, I’m suddenly in the mood for lasagna.

When I wrote many months back that I wasn’t sold on the Chinese’s dedication to building their stadiums according to code, I had an incident like this in mind. It was the second fire at the stadium in the last four months. Luckily, no casualties were recorded (assuming you believe everyone’s favorite Chinese news service, Xinhua.)

That’s what the Obama campaign headquarters in Columbia, Mo., looked like the day after the election. Boone County, where Columbia is located, went strongly for Obama, but the Illinois senator didn’t win the state. But you’d never have known it from the post-election window signage.

Chris Kelly spent nearly each night in the months leading up to the election knocking on doors in Missouri’s 24th congressional district. At his campaign offices, they kept track of each door, more than 10,000 in all.

Tonight, Kelly won election to the state House of Representatives by 411 votes.

Just did a quick search of both candidates on Amazon.com to see how their books rank. Barack Obama’s “The Audacity of Hope” is ranked 32nd overall in book sales. His first book, “Dreams from My Father” is ranked 74th overall. Even “Change We Can Believe In,” a collection of speeches and proposals from the candidate, is selling well. That book ranks 487th overall in books sold.

Meanwhile, John McCain’s autobiography, “Faith of My Fathers,” is ranked only 1,655th overall on Amazon.com. His newest work, “Why Courage Matters,” which was released in July, is ranked 21,529th.

Also worth noting: the third, fourth and sixth entries that come up when searching for Senator McCain’s name are for a Halloween masks of the candidate.