Tag: advice you didn’t ask for

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Just Don’t.

“Percentage wise, it is 100% easier not to do things than to do them.” — John Mulaney

 
Don’t.

Just… don’t.

The work will be hard. It’ll be draining. You’ll be tired all the time. You’ll be working harder than you’ve ever worked.

And the work won’t stop. You’ll go to bed at midnight, having put in a full day of work, and you’ll wake up the next day with just as much — probably even more. It’ll just keep coming at you, work day after work day, and the only way to deal with it will be to keep going, deeper and deeper into work that won’t ever end.

You’ll be an emotional wreck. You won’t be sure that what you’re doing is right, and your friends will probably tell you that you’re crazy. Most days, you’ll agree. You’ll be a bad break away from a nervous breakdown, or a big break away from floating on air, and you’ll never be sure which way the next 90 minutes might take you. You will never feel like you’re standing on solid ground.

You will feel alone, and you will feel helpless, and you will feel scared.

You will want to quit. You will tell yourself that quitting is the way out.

And then you will wake up and do it all again the next day. You will want to quit, but you’ll be even more scared that quitting might take you to an even worse place.

So you’ll keep going, day after day, hour after hour, task after task. You’ll lose the ability to tell the difference between a step forward and a step back. Soon, all you’ll be sure of is that you’re taking steps — but you’re not sure where they lead.

The work will make you question everything. The work will bring you to tears. The work will hurt.

The work. It will take everything you have to keep it from crushing you.

So, just… don’t. Don’t do it. Not doing the work is the easy way out. Not doing it is the sane way out.

Unless you want to do something really great. In which case: You’re going to have to do the work. It is the only way.

And yes, you’re going to be tired, and scared, and totally unsure of yourself.

But you’ll be doing the work, and there won’t be a single thing you’d rather do than that.

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How Things Change.

There is a quote from a “West Wing” episode I really love. It’s from season 1 of that show. It’s about a news story that’s just been leaked. It goes:

Leo: It’s gonna break… tomorrow?

C.J.: Yeah, it’s on the Internet right now.

That episode of the show aired on January 12, 2000. It was only 13 years ago — but frankly, I have the same reaction to that quote as I would a quote about telegraph machines in the 1920s. The story’s on the Internet now? And it’s not breaking until tomorrow? What the hell was journalism even like 13 years ago on the Internet?

Point is: In the past 13 years, we’ve experienced some incredible change in our world. I now have a tablet computer made of glass that can access all of the information ever produced by man. I can type this blog post, publish it on my blog, and have anyone anywhere in the world read it.

I have access and power and possibility that did not exist just 13 years ago. Things change fast.

I don’t know what the next 13 years ahead will bring us. But I want to be here for them, learning, adapting, changing — for whatever happens next.

And I hope to read these words that I’ve written and look back and think, Could I have ever been that simple?

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People + Things.

There is a quote that I’ve been carrying around for a few years now. It’s one of the few core things I believe.

My little manifesto goes:

“In this life, find things you love, and people you love, and make time for both.”

Everywhere I’ve gone, it’s worked for me. It’s not exactly the most complicated formula, but it makes sense. And as long as I’ve stuck to it, I’ve been happy.

The “people” part is something that everyone gets. But it’s the “things” part that people misunderstand.

Things have to be passions or hobbies. They have to active. Not necessarily physically active — one of my things is seeing live music, and I see a lot of it — but it has to be you, out in the world, doing something.

If you try to replace activity with the other type of things — your possessions, your stuff — the formula doesn’t really work.

Shopping might make you happy. But just having clothes? Probably not.

Owning a big TV doesn’t really do much. But inviting friends over for movie night on your flat screen? That’ll do.

Look: Good things happen to those who actually do stuff. So be active. Make time for the things and the people you love.

It’s not exactly Gandhi-level thought, but I promise you, it works.

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The Two Types Of Routine.

“Funny thing happens when you keep putting one foot in front of the other: you get somewhere.” — Marina Martin

 
Something you learn from doing the work: There are two types of routine.

There’s good routine: A process to help you get through tasks faster.

Then there’s bad routine: When things get dull.

Creating the first time of routine helps you get through your workday. The second makes you resent your workday.

Anyway, point is: We tend to talk about it in negative terms, but routine isn’t always a bad thing. And when you find the good routine, it actually helps keeps you moving forward.

Just something you’ll learn when you commit to the work.

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Two Great Questions: Why Not? And What Else?

There’s a pizza place around the corner from me that’s pretty good. They’ve got a good pepperoni and mushroom slice, and they’ve got this chicken caesar pie, too, if you’re into something kinda different.

But what I like most about this pizza place are the guys behind the counter. There are two guys I see most often working the counter, and they’ve each got a catchphrase.

The first guy waits for you to order, and when you announce your choice of slice, he says, “Why not?”

Order another slice, and you’ll hear, “Why not?”

Hang around the restaurant for 10 minutes and you’ll hear him say it over and over again.

The second guy behind the counter has a different way of responding to each order. Each slice is followed by a simple question: “What else?”

And usually the customer pauses and says, Well, maybe that one? Or that one?

“What else?”

Maybe that one…

I really like this pizza place, because I really like those two questions. I like how, subtly, really good questions can challenge a captive audience. The right questions can force someone to take action that they might not otherwise take.

I’d like more people to ask questions like that when they’re taking on new work. Something too big? Too scary? “Maybe I shouldn’t do this,” you find yourself saying.

Well, why not?

And when you think you’ve hit the end of some work, and you’re trying to figure out if there’s anything left to do:

Well, what else? Is there something more to do?

Those two really good questions could unlock a lot of really good work. Don’t thank me, though. Thank the pizza place on the corner.

———

That photo was taken by Peter Bravo de los Rios for Unsplash.

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Too Late/Too Soon: An Introduction.

When do you know that it’s time? Introducing a month of posts about how I learned to stop worrying, buck up and do the work.

I’ve had a song stuck in my head for a few weeks now, and it just won’t leave. It’s called “Too Late Too Soon,” and it’s by a Nashville musician, Will Hoge. The song is technically about love lost, but that’s not what I heard when I first heard it.

Hoge sings:

But you say that it’s too late too soon
And your eyes ain’t the only thing blue
I try and I try just to make one thing true
But sometimes it’s just too late too soon

But what I heard was this: You wanted something, and you worked for it, and the timing just never worked out.

There were a handful of points during my adventures with Stry.us where I realized the importance of timing. I’d be doing work that I thought was really great, but then I’d try to get the work out into the world, and I’d get pushback. Sometimes, they weren’t ready for the work I was doing. More often, I wasn’t ready for the work they wanted.

The cycles weren’t lining up, and I was frustrated.

I tried and tried, but you can’t change timing. Sometimes, it really is too late, and sometimes, it really is too soon.

So this month, I’m going to write exclusively here on the blog about the concept of Too Late/Too Soon, and walk you through the entirety of Stry.us. I hope that people out there who want to do great work read these posts and understand: We all go through this. We all struggle with it.

With patience, and hustle, and time, the work can eventually get out there.

Come along this month with me. Learn from my mistakes.

We have much to learn about our work.

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The Experts Are Probably Wrong.

“Whatever you believe / You might be wrong.” — Paul Thorn

 
When I was in college, I was part of a small group of journalism students who took classes that were basically about the Internet. This was 2005 or so. Journalism on the Internet wasn’t new, but it was for journalism schools.

Anyway, we spent a lot of time in class talking about things that seem funny now. Was Facebook journalism? Was blogging?

Again: It was 2005.

But one thing was made very clear to me by my professors, and by pretty much every professional person I knew: We had to be careful about what we posted online. If we weren’t vigilant, we’d never get a job in the real journalism world!

Yesterday, my current employer hired a guy whose Twitter handle is @WeedDude.

Really:

And then there’s stuff like this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

And here’s a presentation that the CEO of my company likes to give at conferences. It includes this slide:

And I could go on and on. Just know: All of that comes from respected, professional, important people who make stuff in our world.

Point is: Whatever the experts are telling you, there’s a good chance they’re wrong. Seven years ago, every professional journalist in the world would’ve told you that professionalism came first. That keeping the appearance of seriousness mattered.

It turned out that they were wrong. Newspapers might’ve been built for professional-looking/sounding reporters, but the web is a wonderful place where strange/eccentric/bizarre people flourish. Weirdness is celebrated here.

Anyway, if someone tells you something’s for certain, there’s a good chance they’re wrong. Don’t blindly accept the advice of experts. Question them. Challenge them.

Just FYI.

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Finding The Difference.

“When everyone has good players, teaching will be a telling difference.” — John Wooden

 
Assume, for a second, that everyone in your world is smart. That everyone in your world is talented.

So, here’s the question: What’s the difference between you and them?

For legendary UCLA coach John Wooden, it was teaching.

For you, it might be hustle.

Or teamwork.

Or focus.

And if you can’t answer this question — What sets me apart? — then here’s the bad news:

You’re playing on everyone else’s level.

And that’s okay. But if you want to do great work, you’ve got to figure out how to elevate your game.

Now’s your chance.

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What Really Matters.

“To practice courage and compassion is to look at life and the people around us, and to say, ‘I’m all in.'” — Brené Brown

 
What really matters in this life?

People. That’s it.

Get good people in your life. People who lift you up. People who challenge you. People who help make you you.

People matter.

Money, anger, jealousy, things — the rest of it is just filler.

Find good people, and you’ll understand what makes this life all it can be.

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What I Really Mean When I Say ‘Fail.’

Don't Stop Believin'

There is a phrase I use a lot. I overuse it. A lot of my friends do, too.

The word is “fail.”

Fail can mean a lot of things. It can mean:

-Go try hard things, and see what works!
-Don’t be afraid to mess up!
-If it doesn’t succeed, that’s okay — it doesn’t mean you’re a failure!

But sometimes, when we just wrap all that in into that one word — fail — we lose a sense of what we’re really trying to say. Sometimes, I’ll find myself telling people that they should be willing to fail, and they think, “Dan doesn’t think I can do it.”

And that’s not it at all! If you’ve got the skill and hustle and the team, you can absolutely pull it off.

So if I’ve told you, “It’s okay to fail” or “Go fail fast,” I’m sorry. I can say it better.

This year, be willing to do difficult things. Be willing to go on adventures where you don’t know the outcome. Be willing to persevere.

Most of all: Be willing to do great work.

Yes, some of the work won’t live up to your standards. Yes, yes, some of the work will take you directions you didn’t intend.

What matters is you and your work, and that you keep going.

The only true failure comes when you decide that the work isn’t worth it anymore.

Everything else is just a stop along the way.

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