Why Money Doesn’t Buy What Matters.

“Joy is repeatedly being reminded that you believed in the right kinds of people.” — Dharmesh Shah

 
In 2011, three psychologists released a study about money and happiness. The title of their report summed it up nicely: “If money doesn’t make you happy, then you probably aren’t spending it right.”

They dug in further:

“Wealthy people don’t just have better toys; they have better nutrition and better medical care, more free time and more meaningful labor—more of just about every ingredient in the recipe for a happy life. And yet, they aren’t that much happier than those who have less. If money can buy happiness, then why doesn’t it?”

And then they came to heart of their research: Money gives people opportunities. It gives people the chance to have resources and possessions and experiences that those with less cannot have. But money does not guarantee that the people with money will spend it in a way that will actually make them happy.

It’s not hard to guess what we think will make us happy: Just watch an hour of TV around Christmas-time, and see what the advertisers are selling. That fancy sweater. That new car. That dream home.

But what the psychologists found is that the happiness from those things doesn’t really last. We get excited about that new car, and then we sit in a traffic jam and forget all about it. We buy that new home, and special wood floors to match, and then we have to spend money on upkeep.

So what actually makes us happy? The psychologists point to two things in particular:

1.) Experiences: Going on trips. Spending money on an interesting new restaurant. Seeing a show. You’ll enjoy it in the short term, and even months later, you’ll think about something you saw or ate, and you’ll smile. (Think for a second about a restaurant you love or a concert you enjoyed, and you’ll understand.)

2.) Giving: Giving your time to charity. Volunteering. Any sort of helping — from mentoring to listening to a friend for a few minutes — tends to come back to you. Even giving gifts can make us happy. When we’re spending time and money on others, we’re usually happier than when we’re spending money on ourselves.

Of course, this all leads back to three simple questions: What matters to you? What do you actually care about?

And are you going to spend money on it, or not?

Photo at top via @russeyler

The Thing I Learned From The Spin Doctors.

“Just go ahead now.” — Spin Doctors

 
I have been obsessed lately with this video of the Spin Doctors playing ‘Late Night’ in the early 90s. David Letterman introduces the band with huge energy. He introduces them to America as though they’re about to become the biggest thing since the Beatles.

I look back on this video — two decades later, with everything I know about what would happen to that band — and chuckle a little. I know the rest of the story. I know where this video fits into the story. The Spin Doctors fizzled out after a few years. The band never had an album as big as their debut.

But at the time, somebody watching at home probably did think the Spin Doctors would be an enormous deal in rock and roll music. Back then, based on that first album, huge success seemed likely.

This is why we let the story play out. We don’t know in the moment — only with work and time do we figure it all out. We tend to think that the story has been written already, but we don’t know.

Do the work, and see where it all takes you as you go.

The Fire.

fullbright

“There’s a fire burning deep inside / And it’s as mad as it’s mean / It’s hungry as it’s lean / And it’s as fleeting as a dream.” — John Fullbright

 
Two separate things that happened this week:

The first: A colleague at BuzzFeed died. His name was Michael Hastings, and I never met him. But when you read about him — and you really should — the thing that comes across is a certain fire for his reporting. People at my office described him as passionate, as forceful, as energetic. What a wonderful thing to bring to your work.

The second: I saw a guy play in concert on Thursday. His name is John Fullbright, and he’s a hugely talented songwriter from Oklahoma. Watching him live, he sang with that same passion. He threw himself at the microphone. He sang loud, and played hard. He’s a guy who actually appears to work on stage — he sweats and screams and aches through his music. What a wonderful thing.

It’s an amazing thing to see people doing work they really care about and believe in. The passion comes through. The fire comes through.

I feel lucky to have witnessed glimpses of it this week. That’s what we’re all shooting for, isn’t it?

Nancy and Julie.

When I look back on the women who’ve had the most impact on my life, I don’t look to teachers. I don’t look to historical figures.

I look to my mother and her friends. I look most of all to Julie, and I look to Nancy.

About five years ago, Julie died. Cancer.

Last week, Nancy died. Cancer.

And I am at a loss for words — again.

But if there’s something I should say about these two women — these two amazing women, these two women I am so blessed to have had in my life — I say these two things:

Julie and Nancy laughed as hard as any people I’ve ever met.

Julie and Nancy always made you understand that they loved you, and that they put you first.

Laughter and love. Those are two of the most wonderful things in the world, and I know it because of them.

I miss you, Julie, and I’ll miss you, Nancy. Thanks for teaching me so much about this world. I won’t forget it.

Go For It.

“He does shit.” — Bruce Arena, on Clint Dempsey

There’s a guy on the U.S. National Team named Clint Dempsey. As of Sunday, he’s the second-leading scorer in the history of American men’s soccer.

What makes Dempsey so special? It’s a combination of things. He’s got incredible ball skills. He plays with the sort of passion that only great athletes seem to know how to tap into.

And then there’s this third thing, that Grant Wahl of SI quoted so accurately this week: “He does shit.”

Lots of players are technically skilled, but Dempsey has a rare knack for making things happen. He tries shots that no one else will try, and that’s where some of his most impressive goals come from. Call it verve, call it chutzpah, call it brass balls — whatever it is, Dempsey has it. Where other players shy away, Dempsey goes for goal.

Dempsey’s only scored 35 goals in his National Team career [1. In 96 games.], so it’s not like he’s a superhuman goal scorer. But his combination of skill, passion and courage make him an exceptional soccer player.

We should all have that passion, that drive to take big chances.

This week, take a shot you wouldn’t take. Be bold.

Nobody Knows Anything Before You Start.

“This can be anything you want.” —Louis C.K.

 
It’s been more than 11 years since Disney announced that they were going to do something unusual: Turn a theme park ride into a movie.

The movie was called “Pirates of the Carribean.” And early on, critics thought it was a terrible idea.

Here’s what one critic had to say about it in March 2002:

“Pirate movies have been bombs for a long time… this is one of those streaks that most producers seem to respect. You have to go back to the 1950’s (and earlier) to find an era when pirate movies were successful and liked. And that, I guess, is why the Pirates of the Caribbean ride was made in the first place, because they didn’t know yet the trend was over.

“….As for a movie with really scary pirates that pulls no punches for the kiddies… don’t be lookin’ ‘ere, arrrrr…”

And the same writer in June 2002, growing a little less skeptical:

“I don’t know whom exactly I thought might be announced as starring in this movie, but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t thinking it would be Johnny Depp.”

And the same writer in April 2003, when the first trailers came out:

“The amazing full trailer for this movie did indeed go up last night…. My anticipation for this movie has been building for some time, but this trailer really locks it in there.

“I think the title of “Pirates of the Caribbean” has had a lot of people scratching their heads (and expecting a dopey movie), but clearly Disney, Bruckheimer, Verbinski, Depp and everyone else involved were not setting out to make *that* sort of PotC movie. They’re apparently totally reinventing the property, separate from what you know about the ride, and from what I can see in this trailer… it looks like it might have worked. Wow.”

That movie went on to make $305 million. Johnny Depp was absolutely awesome in it.

But nobody knew that at the start. At the start, it was just a weird idea. There was no director, no stars. Just an idea.

Ideas aren’t worth very much. Some ideas bomb. Some ideas get the right team behind them and become one of the highest-grossing movie franchises in history.

Nothing really matters until you start — especially not what everyone else is saying.

So just go ahead and start.

The John Prine Test.

There is a John Prine song I absolutely love, called “Angel From Montgomery.” And the last verse includes these two lines:

How the hell can a person go to work in the morning
And come home in the evening and have nothing to say?

So this is the John Prine test: Come home every day this week, and see if you have something to say.

Tell a friend. Call your mother. Write it down. Whatever.

Just come home and see what you have to say.

I find that the people who love their jobs the most talk about them a lot. And the ones who don’t love their work rarely mention it. I know people who have been at the same job for years — and I’ve never been able to get more than a shrug out of them when I ask about work.

I wonder why they stay. Because work should stay with you. It should bother you all day. It should always be on your mind.

You should work somewhere that excites you, where the work stays with you all day. You really do deserve that a place that challenges you like that.

17 Things I Learned From My Day With Warren Buffett.

Last Saturday, 35,000 shareholders gathered in Omaha to hear Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger speak. The two men lead Berkshire Hathaway, which is now the fifth-most valuable company in the world, valued at over $264 billion.

I was there, too — as the guest of a family friend, Steve, who’s a shareholder. I didn’t want to pass up the chance to hear one of history’s greatest business minds speak.

Here’s what I learned from my day in Omaha:

1. There Is No Roadmap

Some people come to Omaha looking for answers about the company, but many are there to find the secret to life. This isn’t an understatement: People really do think Warren’s figured out the secrets to the universe.

But the thing Warren said over and over again was simple: There is no roadmap. There is no right way forward. And there are no shortcuts.

2. But… Some Things Do Really Matter

Great people, mostly. Warren talked often about how great his management team was. He kept saying things like, “If I could clone so and so, I would.” When you have great people in place, and you give them the tools to do their work, a lot of great things can happen.

3. Have A Partner Smarter Than You

Warren’s partner is Charlie Munger, the whip-smart no. 2 of Berkshire. He’s been with the company for decades. He’s also a billionaire. His job is to know more than Warren. And he does, which is pretty incredible — Warren’s no dummy.

4. Make Sure That Partner Knows How To Call You On Your Shit

I love this about Charlie: Whenever he thinks Warren’s wrong, he’ll call him on it. “Just because Warren thought something 20 years ago doesn’t mean it’s a law of nature,” he told shareholders at one point. Everyone should have someone willing to call them out like that.

5. That Spark Matters

Have you ever seen that photo of Einstein with his tongue out? There’s something unexpected about that photo — something deeply human. Einstein is this towering figure in history, and yet, there’s a photo of him acting like a fool.

And there are all sorts of photos of Warren acting goofy. He’s got that spark, too — that mix of humor and childishness — and people recognize it. They light up around it.

6. Don’t Be So Serious

Warren was surprisingly funny at the meeting. At one point, he got asked about Harley Davidson, and then gave a long answer breaking down the numbers. Then he added:

“Any company that gets its customers to tattoo ads on their chests can’t be all bad.”

Perfect.

7. Go Where You Want To Go

At various points during the meeting, Warren was pressed for answers about what’s happening with GEICO, one of Berkshire’s largest holdings. Other companies are trying out new ways to measure insurance risk, they said. Will Berkshire follow?

Warren just stood his ground.

“In the end, we know what we’re willing to do…,” he said. “And if we can’t do it, we will watch for a while…. You can’t afford to go along with the crowd.”

I love that. Go where you want to go — don’t go blindly chasing the puck.

8. Admit When You’re Wrong

It’s something both Charlie and Warren were willing to admit. They’ve made mistakes. They’ve owned up to their mistakes.

And the other thing that Warren reminded me: People often forget about this mistakes.

“We’ll be back here in 2 or 3 years, and I’l say, ‘I told you so,'” Warren said, “and hope you have a bad memory.”

9. Be Willing To Say ‘I Don’t Know’

One of my favorite moments came during a question about the Fed. Here’s how Charlie and Warren answered the question:

Charlie: “The basic answer is, I don’t know.”
Warren: “I don’t have anything to add.”
**laughs**

I love that. These two men have seen pretty much everything that can happen in a lifetime. They have lived through wars, through financial bubbles, through some amazing technological changes. So for them to say, “I don’t know,” that’s a statement that carries a lot of weight.

They know the power of their words. They know that their words can move markets. And so they make their predictions and their statements carefully. They won’t make a big statement until they’re sure — isn’t that something we should all emulate?

10. Community Comes First

There’s one thing I didn’t expect from the Berkshire meeting. It’s a gathering of thousands of people, many of whom are millionaires. And yet… it felt like a convention of like-minded fans. The way people talk about Berkshire and their staff, it’s like they know them. They feel a connection to this company and its staff.

That’s really amazing. Berkshire is a really inclusive place — shareholders feel like they’re part of a company that works for them. And that community supports Berkshire back and acts as evangelists for Warren and Co. It’s the community that’s made Berkshire what it is.

11. Don’t Get Jealous

“Envy is the one sin there’s no fun in,” Charlie told the crowd, and it’s tough to argue with that. Sure, there are times when your neighbor or your friend catches onto the Next Big Thing and makes it big. But Warren and Charlie cautioned against chasing that. Just do what you do, and don’t worry about everyone else.

12. Find Heroes Everywhere

Warren’s is a guy named Benjamin Graham, whose book on investing changed the way Warren thought about business. He told shareholders, “My life would have been different if Graham hadn’t written that book.”

But he also noted several other greats: Authors, fellow investors, mentors. Before you can lead, sometimes you have to find other people who’ve already started ahead on the trail.

13. Simplicity Is A Huge Advantage

Something Steve pointed out to me: Berkshire has almost 290,000 employees. But their headquarters has only 24 staffers.

So how do they get things done? By keeping things simple — from management structure to day-to-day routine. By not wasting time on the little details, it gives them more time to focus on the big picture stuff.

14. A Lot Of The Best Stuff Happens By Accident

You can’t plan out everything. Just show up and do the work, and see where it takes you.

“We are leaving behind a field that is very competitive and getting to a place where we’re more unusual,” Charlie said of Berkshire. “This was a very good idea. I wish we’d done it on purpose.”

16. Sell Sell Sell

At the meeting, there was a convention floor where you could buy products from Berkshire companies. Everything — literally dozens of products — featured Warren’s face. The man is shameless when it comes to sales. But that’s also made him one of the most visible businessmen in the world, and in turn, one of the most respected. You can’t lead if no one’e listening — so sometimes, you’ve gotta sell yourself a little.

16. Don’t Go Crazy

Another brilliant Charlie quote: “We’ve always tried to stay sane, and other people like to go crazy.” This is where staying grounded in your principles matters. When you go chasing stuff you don’t understand, you get distracted. Focus on your work, and focus on putting the right systems in place to do that work well.

17. Look Further

The more work you do, the more you begin to understand what’s possible. Warren talked a lot about cumulative knowledge. After a lifetime of work, he knows a lot about a lot.

So when he sees something that gets him excited, he’s willing to jump on it. “We see things that shout out to us: Think further, look further,” he said. Don’t be afraid to chase big things.

18. Love The Work You Do, And Do The Work You Love

“You have to love something to do well at it,” Warren said. “It is an enormous advantage if you absolutely love what you’re doing every minute of it. The nature of it is that that intensity adds to your productivity.”

And that’s it. When you find the stuff you love, you grind at it every day. You throw yourself into your work. You’ll work your hardest when you’re doing something you really care about.

So don’t settle for anything that doesn’t make you want to work that hard. Go out, find what you love, and do the work.

Do Weird Shit.

On Tuesday, I saw the Gregory Brothers — a band that has made some amazing viral videos — perform a mini rock opera about Jeff Goldblum. It was… well, borderline insane. I have no idea how they came up with the idea for it. But it was amazing.

And so the very brief point here: Go make stuff, but don’t worry if it’s weird. A lot of really creative people make some really weird stuff.

And frankly, if the Gregory Brothers can make something awesome about Jeff Goldblum, I’m open to the possibility that anything could be interesting.

Get On Stage.

“Shut up and make something.” — Danielle Morrill

 
I went to the Apollo Theater last night for Amateur Night. I went to watch, not perform. That’s probably for the best.

I have personally stood on some amazing stages, but I’ll never be on anything like the Apollo. For performers there, it’s just you, and this decades-old theater, and a crowd ready to boo you at the first missed note.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Apollo, read that sentence again: Bad performers really do get booed off stage. (They even bring out a guy called “The Executioner” to escort you off.)

But the Apollo is kind of brilliant in that way. Most places, if you’re on stage and you suck, people stay quiet. They clap politely when your performance is done.

At the Apollo? Hell no. If you’re bad, you’re getting booed off stage. You know immediately whether or not what you’re doing is working.

And that’s brilliant. That’s how all our work should be.

Do work. Put it out there. See what people say.

Then do more. And more. Keep putting it out there. Keep inviting reactions.

See what sticks. Learn what doesn’t.

Yes, it will suck sometimes. It will hurt.

But nothing really matters until you get on stage.

That photo at top is of the Apollo Theater, and I took it.