Find An Accountability Partner.

A little while back, I wrote about one of my proudest personal success stories: The year I lost 30 pounds. What was my secret that year? It was simple: I had people in my life who held me accountable:

That was the year I started working out a few times a month with a personal trainer. Having someone there to push me and encourage me really helped — I was willing to try workouts that I would never have tried without a workout partner. I also tried harder knowing that someone was watching (and judging!) me. With someone else there for my workouts, I couldn’t be lazy, and I couldn’t quit.

The other thing that helped: Dad and I held each other accountable. I’d text him after my workouts, and he’d text me after mine. If I found out that Dad had gone for a long bike ride or a swim, I knew I needed to make time for the gym, too. One of us couldn’t let up if the other one was still working hard.

My trainer and my dad were what I’ve started calling Accountability Partners. They were there to check up on me, and make sure I was staying on track. If I made a promise, they were there to make sure I kept it.

Up until this year, my Accountability Partners had always been people. But in the last few months, I’ve tried something new to hold myself accountable: Apps.

For workouts, I’ve tried Aaptiv. It’s an app with audio-based workouts for every part of the gym. You pick the level of intensity, length of workout, and type of workout (treadmill, stair climber, elliptical, etc), and Aaptiv suggests a handful of workouts, led by a trainer. I’ve loved the combination of familiarity — a favorite trainer coaching you in your ear — and music. I find that I get a lot more out of each workout when I’ve got someone coaching me through it. Last year, I might have gone to the gym for 20 minutes, felt a little lazy, and have just jogged slowly for a mile or two on the treadmill. This year, having Aaptiv has made sure that I actually put in real work when I’m at the gym.

When it comes to eating well, I’ve experimented with Weight Watchers. I don’t do it for long stretches — a month at a time, max — but it’s helpful in keeping me from wasting calories on unhealthy snacks or desserts. Their app makes it simple to track your meals, and I find that when I’m using the app, I typically drink a little less and eat a little better.

At work, my big weakness is wasting time. (An unfortunate side effect of working on the internet is that you’re always on the internet!) I haven’t found an app I truly love for staying productive, but I have had some success with Forest. You set a timer, and it keeps you from opening a tab and heading to Facebook, YouTube, or the other sites where you might waste a few minutes. When my mind drifts and I go to open a new tab, Forest makes sure I keep my focus.

Nothing is quite as good as a friend or co-worker to hold you accountable. But in certain cases, an app can serve as a pretty good Accountability Partner, and help you do good work.

———

That photo of a team supporting each other comes via Unsplash.

Ignore The Wheel. Watch The Board.

The Oshinsky family has been watching a lot of “Wheel of Fortune” lately. The more I watch, the more I realize how much strategy goes into playing “Wheel.”

In particular, I’ve noticed something that nearly all the best players do: They ignore what’s happening on the wheel. As soon as they spin, they turn right back to the board, and try to figure out the puzzle.

“Wheel” is a game full of distractions. There are two hosts (Pat and Vanna), a wheel full of prizes, two other contestants, and a studio audience, not to mention all the lights and cameras. There’s a lot going on — and so many contestants get distracted. Every night, there’s a contestant who’s too busy watching the cash and prizes spin around on the wheel, and when they have to call a letter, they have no idea what to say. They panic and miss.

The secret is simple, though: Just keep watching the board. It doesn’t matter what the wheel lands on — Pat always calls out the dollar value anyway. The three or four seconds when the wheel is spinning is time when you could be solving the puzzle in your own head.

It’s so easy — whether you’re on “Wheel”  or at work — to take your eyes off the ultimate goal. Much of what’s happening around you is a distraction. You have to keep asking yourself: What really matters here? Am I focused on the right thing? What does success look like, and am I working on things to help us achieve it?

In other words: Ignore the wheel. Just watch the board.

Here, Read This.

Here’s a fantastic read from Nikki Waller, a Wall Street Journal reporter, who spent a month avoiding exclamation points in her emails. (I’m know I’m guilty of using — and perhaps overusing — those !!!’s and :-)’s in my emails, but they do such a good job of communicating tone!)

In the piece, Waller writes:

“Not using exclamation points felt somewhat less than authentic for me. I’m enthusiastic by nature, and when some long-running projects hit rough patches during the month, I suspected warmer, more chirpy messages would have lightened up some requests. Then again, I liked not having to apologize for asking people to get things done. When a new manager joined a team that works closely with mine, I worried my pleasant though clipped emails gave the impression that I was clinically depressed or at best in need of coffee.”

Give the whole thing a read. It’s a great way to think about the way we communicate at work.

>> She’s Not Mad. She’s Just Not Using Exclamation Points. | Wall Street Journal
 

 

You Can Learn Something From Everyone.

The next time you meet someone new, try this: Assume they have something they can teach you.

It could be a coffee with a new acquaintance, a big meeting at the office with several co-workers, or a casual chat at a cocktail party. No matter who they are, or what they do, make that simple assumption: They know something you don’t, but they’d be happy to tell you more about it — if only you asked!

What happens when you meet someone and you’re curious to learn more from them?

1) You ask more questions.

2) You listen more closely.

3) You end up building deeper relationships with them — and perhaps sparking the types of conversations that can lead to new ideas and initiatives.

Just that one shift in perspective — this new person has something to teach me! — can change the way you approach a conversation. It can put you in a mindset where you’re curious to learn.

I know I’m sometimes guilty of shutting myself off from conversation before one even starts. I do it for all sorts of reasons: I’m busy, I’m tired, or I’m just disinterested. Sometimes, on my worst days, I’ll sit in on a meeting and think, “I know more than these people.” That’s always a mistake — I’ve eliminated the chance of learning something right from the start.

Instead, keep that open mindset. Ask lots of questions, and be willing to challenge yourself and your own beliefs. You never know when you’re going to meet someone who might teach you something new.

———

That photo of a dog with big ears — the better for listening, obviously — comes via Kyle Smith and Unsplash.

Do The Damn Thing, Dan.

I’ve been using this to-do app, TeuxDeux, for seven or eight years now. I swear by it. Everything that I need to do during the day, from attending weekly meetings to running an errand, goes in TeuxDeux. If I’m on the go and I suddenly remember that I need to follow up with someone or take care of a task, I add it to TeuxDeux. As long as it’s on my list, I won’t forget to do it.

But the issue isn’t always forgetting to do certain tasks. Sometimes, I see a task and realize that it’s going to take some time, or put me in a situation where I have to have an uncomfortable conversation with a colleague, and I tell myself, “Maybe I’ll save this for tomorrow. I’ll be in a better space to handle this then.”

The nice thing about TeuxDeux is that if you don’t cross something off the list, it just moves on to the next day, ready to be crossed off.

The bad thing is: If you procrastinate enough, you show up for work on Monday and see a half-dozen of those “Maybe tomorrow!” kind of tasks piling up on your to-do list.

I’ve finally had enough of those days. I need to hold myself accountable and make time to cross these things off my list. So I’m starting a new routine: I’ve added a twice-monthly block of time specifically designated for these types of tasks. I’m calling it DTDT Time: Do The Damn Thing Time. (It needs a better name, but it works for now.)

It’s a 90-minute block, every Tuesday — when things tend to be a little calmer around the office — to make sure I take care of those lingering to-dos. If I’ve been putting something off, well, it’s time to finally take it on. It does me no good to drag my feet on these. I’ve just got to do the damn thing — and hopefully, with this new routine, I’ll be making the time to do just that.

———

That image of TeuxDeux comes via their blog.

Be Wrong More Often.

Most of my ideas are bad. Recently, I started a notebook that I’ve been filling exclusively with bad ideas: TV shows that should never get made, apps that should never be launched, products that should never be spoken of to another human being. It’s humbling to add another bad idea to the notebook. For every 100 ideas I have, 70 are incredibly bad, 20 are acceptably terrible, and maybe — if I’m lucky — 10 are decent enough to do something with.

And I think that’s a pretty good success rate.

In my time at BuzzFeed, I learned that it was OK to have ideas that didn’t work out. There was so much that we did at BuzzFeed that worked, and worked incredibly well. But for every launch that grew into something big, there were dozens of ideas that failed: BuzzFeed University (a program to get ad agencies to create their own BuzzFeed sponsored content), Star.me (a collaborative social media site that was a cross between BuzzFeed and Giphy), or Fre.sh (a leaderboard for the internet). These were the kinds of projects that, as Jonah Peretti wrote in a 2013 memo to the staff, “don’t distract from the core and have the potential to be much bigger in the medium term future.” They weren’t, but that didn’t matter. As the internet mantra goes: We failed fast, and often.

But here’s something I didn’t always understand about that saying: It’s not just about trying lots of things and seeing what sticks. The hard part is reminding yourself that it’s OK to be wrong.

I’ve never met anyone who liked being wrong. But I’ve met some who have accepted it as part of the process. You come up with ideas, or you test out a new theory, and it doesn’t work out. Then you have to admit to yourself and to your team that the thing you believed in isn’t worth pursuing anymore, or that you need to change course. (Sometimes, even when it’s painful, you’ll even have to admit to a colleague: “Yes, you were right.”) The most productive people I know have these conversations on a monthly basis — or sometimes, weekly.

In other words: If you’re doing things right, you’ll often be wrong.

It’s not easy to admit that your ideas aren’t great. It’s not easy to admit that you were wrong. It’s not easy to kill your darlings.

But it’s part of the process: Come up with lots of ideas, pick your favorites, and be willing to be wrong. Don’t get discouraged: Just because you were wrong before doesn’t mean you’ll be wrong forever. The great ideas will come soon enough.

— — —

That photo of a stop symbol comes via Kai Pilger and Unsplash.

Here, Read This.

Julia Evans posted this fantastic little guide to getting feedback from your boss. Her advice is excellent: The more specific you can get with your questions, the more likely you are to get specific, actionable feedback.

(That guide comes from her new zine, which is available here.)

One more thing to add to Julia’s suggestions: Set up a weekly check-in with your boss. When you have regular conversations with them, feedback becomes part of the week-to-week process of your work, instead of something that only happens during an annual review. Getting negative feedback isn’t always easy, but it does become easier to get (and give) feedback if there are regular opportunities to do so.

How To Network At Work.

If you want to be successful at a new job, there are only two things you have to do well: Ask great questions, and know lots of people.

Let’s talk about that second requirement for a moment. The people I’ve seen succeed at companies, both big and small, are the ones who can say: I know exactly who we should talk to for this project! At work, it’s not just about what you can do — it’s also about who you know.

So how do you get to know more people? Two strategies have worked well for me:

1) Have lots and lots of coffee — Reach out to colleagues just to say, “I’d love to hear what you’re working on!” Be curious, and learn more about what else is happening around you. Ask your co-workers to introduce you to interesting people that they’re working with. If you’re nervous about reaching out to new people, make it a weekly habit: Every Monday, email a new person to set up a coffee, and by the end of the year, you’ll have made dozens of new connections at your office. (Don’t be nervous that they won’t reply — most people love talking about themselves and their work! They’ll be thrilled that someone is interested and wants to listen.)

2) Congratulate your colleagues — When someone does good work — when they publish a new story or launch a big project — email them to say congrats. It doesn’t have to be a long email — a sentence or two is enough, and often hugely meaningful!

Remember: The more people you know, the more likely you are to know the people who can help you get stuff done around the office. So reach out for those coffees, and send those congratulatory emails. They do make a difference.

———

That photo is by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.

How Do You Have The Awkward Conversation About Your Job Search?

A friend of mine is searching for a new job. She has a job right now, but she’s ready for something new. She’s doing the right things: She’s gotten her resume in order, and she’s reaching out to colleagues and contacts to start talking about opportunities elsewhere.

But she’s still a little nervous about one thing: Won’t it seem desperate or too aggressive if she comes out and asks for help in her job search?

Here’s what I told her: I remember when I graduated from Mizzou, in May 2009, with the country in a recession, and major newspapers closing and cutting staff nearly every week. It was a lousy time to be a journalism graduate. I needed a job, and no one was hiring. If there was ever a time to feel desperate, it was then.

But amazingly, I got a job. The reason? Several Mizzou grads were remarkably kind to me and helped me land the interview that led to a full-time job. They told me: When we were first searching for jobs, Mizzou grads helped us get in the door. Now we’re trying to pay it forward.

Everyone in this industry has been in their shoes. If you haven’t been laid off, you know someone who has. You know the feeling of needing some help — an introduction, a lucky connection, a bit of good advice — to get the next job.

And all of us who’ve been there recognize that feeling, and remember how grateful we were when help came. That’s why so many people are willing to be unusually kind when it comes to talking about your career. They remember the people who helped them, and they’re often excited to pass that support along to the next person.

There’s no need to be worried about the awkwardness of the conversation. Just be up front. Make sure the people you’re connecting with know that you’re searching for a new role. Make sure you explain why you’re reaching out to them, and why you think they can help (a little bit of flattery never hurts!). Make sure you don’t waste their time by bringing good questions to the table. Make sure you say thank you. (Send a thank you note, too!)

The old adage is true: The worst thing someone can do when you ask for help is to say “no.” Don’t get discouraged. Keep asking good questions and making connections — that’s how you’re going to get the introduction you need to get to that next job.

———

That stock footage comes via rawpixel and Unsplash.

The Gym Radius, and What It Means For Your Work.

A few months ago, I started going to a new gym. I’d been at the same one for a few years, and I generally liked it. It was a huge space, with lots of daily classes, tons of machines, and nice locker rooms. They had multiple locations across the city. But despite that, I’d pretty much stopped going.

It wasn’t the gym itself — it was the location. The gym was a 12-minute walk from my apartment, and on anything less than a perfect day, I’d talk myself out of working out. I’d tell myself that it was too far away to walk in the cold, or too wet, or too humid.

I think I’m like a lot of people: I’ll work out, but only if the gym is so close that I can’t make an excuse for not going. Let’s call that excuse-free zone “the gym radius”: the distance from home or work that a gym needs to be to get you to visit regularly.

My gym radius is tiny: a 5-minute walk from my apartment. When I lived in Columbia and worked out 4-5 times a week, it was because there was a great gym on the ground floor of my building. It’s tough to make an excuse — even in a snow storm — when all you have to do is walk downstairs to work out. In Springfield, the gym was a short drive away — still close enough for me.

Now I’m at a gym that’s a quarter-mile away — five minutes, door to door. It doesn’t have the classes or the amenities of my old gym, but it turns out that I don’t really care about that. All I want are some machines, an area to stretch, and a short walk — that’s enough to get me out a few times a week to do the work.

I’ve been thinking about what this means for the rest of my work. What are the other situations I need to put myself in to do great work? If I were you, I’d be asking:

Do you work well remotely, or do you need to be in an office? — Some people work well in a remote setting, but others feed off of an office environment, where casual conversations might lead to unexpected ideas. (Some of my favorite projects have been the result of a quick chat in an elevator or by the coffee machine.)

Do you work better with others or prefer to fly solo? — Make sure you know the answer here, and find a role that allows you to play to those strengths.

Do you like to operate as a manager or an independent contributor? — Again, understanding your strengths — Do you like to lead? Do you mind taking on responsibility for the work and output of others? Are you willing to make sacrifices for the sake of your team? — can push you towards the right role in a company.

Can you multi-task, or do you prefer to focus on specific tasks? — I’ve found that most people aren’t great multi-taskers — in fact, multi-tasking typically leads to lost of unfocused, unfinished work. If you’re like me — I’m not a very good multi-tasker — then make sure you’re blocking out time during the day to focus in on one specific project. Even a 30-minute window without distractions can be enough to make huge progress on a task.

These questions are just starting places for a bigger conversation about work habits. But remember this: If you want to do your best work,  make sure you’re putting yourself in the right situations — and the right settings — to do it.

———

That photo of someone working out comes via Victor Freitas and Unsplash.