I Am 35 Years Old. This Is What I Believe.

Here we are at a wedding in Colorado. It really is pretty out there!

I’m 35 years old, and I’m OK not knowing what happens next.

On a weekly basis, I’m getting asked questions that I don’t have answers to: When will you hire your first employee? When are you going to start a family? Do you think you’ll leave New York? Where would you move?

I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.

There’s a certain pressure to have all the answers. It’s easy to feel like everyone else has it all figured out — why don’t I? But I know that big questions rarely have easy answers.

I do know that I’m tremendously lucky to have the life I have. Every time Sally and I go on a fun trip, or eat a great dinner out, or spend time with friends, or drive home down the FDR at the end of the night, I find myself thinking: Can you believe we get to live in New York City? Can you believe we get to do what we do for work? Can you believe the places we’ve gotten the chance to visit?

I don’t know if I’ll ever have all the answers, but I know this: If this is all there is, this is more than enough.

I don’t know where we’ll be in a year, or if we’ll be able to start a family, or what I might do with my business. Nobody really knows, and I know that it’s OK not to know. I’ll figure out the answers as I go, and I know there will be some surprises along the way. That’s a good thing, I think — a world void of surprises doesn’t seem like much of a world at all.

Who knows what happens next. Here’s to enjoying right now.

Over the past year, there are certain things I’ve come to believe hold true. I know that my beliefs will continue to change. I know that I will change.

But here, at 35, is what I believe:

You don’t have to do everything. You can’t do everything. But whatever you choose to do, it’s enough.

Saying “no” today is the fastest route to saying “yes” tomorrow.

It’s better to be lucky than good, but it’s still pretty important to be good.

Here’s how I’ve been traveling lately: In advance, I’ll ask friends who’ve been to that place for some recommendations. I’ll open Google Maps and star the places they recommend. And then when I get to that place, I start to wander. When I’m hungry, I’ll pull up my map and see if there are any places nearby that I’ve starred. Then I’ll head there. No plans, no reservations — but wherever you end up, it’s probably going to be somewhere great.

Don’t put up the same out-of-office reply every single time you take a few days off. Sit down and actually write something about what you’ll be doing with your time off. You’d be surprised how often a great OOO turns into a conversation starter when you’re back at work.

The right answer starts with a great question.

But also: It doesn’t matter what you ask if you don’t bother to listen.

Overdeliver, but don’t overwhelm.

Oysters on an empty stomach after a red eye is a very, very bad combination.

My definition of “impulsive” has changed as I’ve gotten older. I find myself saying: Did I really just book a trip to the beach a mere 26 days before making the actual trip? Oh, I’m really living on the edge!

Whatever you want to do, you can.

Sometimes, a friend is asking for advice, and sometimes, they just want to vent. Know which is which.

Here’s the best way I can explain what I do for work: My job isn’t to have all the answers — it’s to help you ask the right questions.

You know more than you realize. Share what you’ve learned.

And finally: Sometimes, you need a little reminder to remember how good you’ve got it. Because, right now, it’s possible that you’ve got it pretty good.


That’s a photo of Sally and I at a wedding in Colorado, on a great night with an amazing view.